(Thinking about Proper 14, particularly 2 Samuel 18:5-9, 15, 31-33)
It's been too long since I got to sing Sacred Harp music live, with a group, but whenever I think of it, I remember singing "David's Lamentation." Sacred Harp is raw and raucous and just right for expressing the grief of a guilty parent expressed in this week's lectionary passage about King David. The You Tube video below shows a small Sacred Harp group, conducted by an 8-year-old girl, giving the song their all. You won't hear it when they sing through on the syllables, but listen to the whole thing and you will know what I mean.
"David the King was griev-ed and mov-ed. He went to his chamber, his chamber and wept."
I remember the way those words felt coming out of my mouth the first time, syllables and portions of syllables on separate notes. The song feels like grief as process, the movement both emotional and literal as he walks to his chamber.
In the Ministry of the Meantime, there is a lot of grieving and moving, and one of the benefits to the griever-and-mover-in-chief is that it's hard to stay still in your own life when you're encouraging others to move forward in theirs.
This means hard work, sometimes work that makes a person want to weep, at least a little.
There are more things to bid farewell this summer than the church I left recently. There are old patterns and unhelpful habits and outmoded ways of thinking. There are fond dreams that never came to be. There are bad dreams I really don't need to keep having.
I just need to grieve a little, first.