In my years of observing Lent as a pastor, I've noticed that I suffer a sort of Lenten breakdown about halfway through the season.

Every year I lay out my worship plans for the first four or five Sundays, with a vague notion of where I'm headed with Palm Sunday, Holy Week and Easter, but there comes a point when I have to make those plans more concrete while continuing to "do" Lent, which often includes some sort of special program or class, and just like this sentence, the season begins to run away with me and I wonder if I can really keep hold of the horse's mane because I clearly forgot the halter, the bridle, the reins, even the saddle.

Shortness of breath, not enough room in my head for all that needs consideration, a setting aside of other interests, and later a breaking through to completion: all these make Lent an anxious season with too little time for personal devotions.

One year I tried to pray the hours, and I did well for two weeks, but then the breakdown came.

Last year I spent Lent wrapping up my ministry, ending an interim, and I fear I shortchanged people and myself, though I told myself some of that had to happen, that a "perfect" ending wouldn't have been possible anyway.

Because, seriously, I am not Jesus.

Neither are you.

I hope this comes as a relief and not a surprise.

Hurriedly I write this, trying to hold the thoughts inclined to gallop off across the field of consciousness, full of their own importance, ignoring my well-ordered priorities, as the days grow longer and Lent grows older, bending in on itself, rounding the corner toward Easter, ready or not.

8 thoughts on “Hurriedly”

  1. augh… i so resonate with your words. i am there… the hustle. bustle. the OMG where is the top of my desk feeling that comes mid-Lent… and holy week… eek! and a now add a wedding to Easter weekend (of all things!0 and well… is it any wonder i’m inking in a retreat ASAP after the rush? whew!

  2. I’m really looking forward to going to Arizona for the BE 2.0 after Easter. I’ll need a three day nap, I’m thinking!

  3. I am so glad this isn’t just me. I also think this mid-Lent syndrome is the culprit behind my near-lent-breakdown yesterday. (sigh) Sometimes I miss the days when I could just be in Lent and not be planning for Easter and after. And I dream about the day I am organized enough to have Easter planned and done before Lent begins. We almost need to have the whole Easter season planned out, and then go through Lent one week at a time, you know?

  4. Thanks! You said what my racing mind and schedule were just turning around and around.
    Thank. You.

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