Ministry

Preacher’s Nightmare

I'm trying to get to church, but I don't have my car. I don't have my keys. I don't have my cellphone. I don't have my wallet. Apparently the car is downtown, with the keys, the wallet and the phone locked inside it. I'm at the grocery store, roughly halfway between downtown and home. If I get home, can my husband drive me to church?

But wait! It's Sunday morning, and it's 5 minutes to 10, and it will take me long enough just to get home that if I call the church no one will answer, and it takes 25 minutes to get there anyway, and it's already time for church to start!!!

Aargh!!!!!

I end up in a thrift store downtown, with my children, having given up on church, trying to find my spare keys, which it turns out my daughter was wearing as a bracelet the whole time…

No, really. I'm fine.

14 thoughts on “Preacher’s Nightmare”

  1. This sounds quite a bit like my back to school dreams of the last few nights — the ones I usually only have in August. But we’ve been out for just shy of a month due to the ice storm and the regularly scheduled break.

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  2. Really? My preacher nightmares are usually about being starkers (as in nekkid) or about being unprepared. Not nearly as creative as yours.

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  3. I haven’t been in the parish for almost two years and I *still* have dreams like this. It’s like a primordial fear or something. Mine normally have me finding a secret room in the church from which I can see the congregation but they can’t see me. I can’t get out of this secret place to go and lead worship, but I can see the people fidgeting and wondering where I am.

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  4. My dreams also involve not being able to put my robe on right, having twisted up panty hose and forgetting where I stand in the chancel.
    Peace and love,

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  5. Last night’s Catholic girl nightmare: I dreamed that my husband and I stole a bunch of money, successfully evaded pursuit, and then my triumph turned to dismay….Oh, my God, now I’ve got to go to Confession, and give the money back, and probably to jail! I was so relieved when I woke up and found we weren’t really master criminals.

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