Don't Let's Call It a Diet

“Don’t Let’s Call It a Diet”

It's a category I haven't used at this blog, but if you followed me here from "Set Free," you know that in 2007, after many hints from the Universe, I got serious about taking better care of myself.

To say that pain and illness feels like a really crappy "reward" for all that effort is to put it mildly.

And it probably will surprise no one to hear that even after I finished many months on prednisone, and left behind the steroid excuse for eating at odd intervals, I still didn't feel much like getting back to Weight Watchers, although I did write about it once and make bold promises to myself.

What I didn't do was go to a meeting.

I know a lot of people who do Weight Watchers Online and say they don't like the meetings, but for me the fellowship and the accountability help. I told my daughter six weeks ago that I would go back to the meetings in the New Year, and so today, even though my arm hurts and Sam was at the vet (finally okay, thank goodness), I went.

As is true almost everywhere else you turn, the program for the day focused on reviewing what went well last year, as an encouragement to do well this year. For me, last year stunk, as far as body things go. I spent January and February working out and losing ten pounds or so, trying hard to get toned up, whatever that means, and then by the end of February I began to have the debilitating symptoms eventually diagnosed as Rheumatoid Arthritis.

And although I can make a pretty good case for having eaten because of steroid mania or methotrexate-related low-grade nausea, I think it's just possible I returned to food as an emotional coping tool in the second half of the year.

Yep.

Because as I've stated here, I feel pretty uncomfortable with anger, but that is what I can't help feeling, unless I can shut it up and stuff it down somehow.

So. Today. I went to the meeting. They have a new program, and a new book for recording your weight, and it's like having a fresh start. The good news is I weigh a LOT less than I did in June, 2007, so I haven't lost anywhere near all the ground I gained (how's that for a reverse twisting metaphor?). But I also remember the resistance I felt to doing a program, to recording all I eat, to drinking the water, especially in winter, the barriers to exercise (different than the old ones, but still barriers) and the frustration of trying to cook for others whose needs are different while trying to care for myself, too.

Really, it's no wonder I gave it up for a while. It requires organization and discipline and a little self-denial and a significant portion of self-discipline. I didn't want those things as much as I wanted to sweeten something bitter until I could face the taste of it.

And I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to taste it now. I'll give it a week and see how it goes.

19 thoughts on ““Don’t Let’s Call It a Diet””

  1. I’m with you on the diet thing. I’m trying to eat better; to make good habits. I hate going to meetings, but thought I needed the accountability so I asked my friends on my other blog to help me. Now, three of us are checking in once a week.
    I’m basically not eating white flour, potatoes, rice and trying for lower carbs and increasing things like salmon. I don’t have the challenge of cooking for others. I’ve actually decided I like raw spinach as a base for a salad. Until I left on my vacation I had lost a couple of pounds, delightful for me. Then yesterday, I totally blew it cookies, wine oh well. I’m going to try to do reasonably well this trip. Now to stray too far from what I should be eating.
    I’m trying to look at it as choosing good stuff rather than not having bad stuff, as choosing foods that will raise my good cholesterol. I need to find a few more entrees that I like.
    I’m trying to choose health and not make unconscious choices which is what I did yesterday.
    Good luck.

  2. June of ’07 was my heaviest point, too, and I’m still 40 lbs from where I want to be.
    I’ve never done WW, but I read enough of Potatoes not Prozac to understand my use of sugar as a biochemical response to depression, and anger’s not very far removed.
    Anyway, for me losing weight happens when I can see the ways I eat primarily to influence my mood, and figure out other ways of addressing that need, and of course it’s a whole lot harder to pull off when more gets loaded onto my plate.

  3. Also, I might should have considered a run to the grocery store for appropriate foods before making pledges to myself. It’s hard to start up when you don’t have the right materials on hand. Maybe by Monday.

  4. Songbird, I am with you on this one. I lost on WW two years ago, but too often I have been rewarding my hard work with chocolate, and trying to better my SAD response to the total grey days here by eating even more chocolate. Time to get back on track. Time to go back to a meeting. Thanks for the reminder.

  5. I don’t do well with calling things diets and with counting / measuring. I had a close call with anorexia in my 20s, and it’s too easy for me to slip into the unhealthy thought patterns. I do better when I’m choosing healthy foods and choosing more exercise rather than cutting back.
    But like you, I do have to combat the urge for comfort eating. I saw it in myself last month when I was juggling too many jobs and I’m concerned about losing the discipline I worked so hard to gain last year.
    So whether we call it diet or no, here’s to regaining good habits.

  6. I too have some serious work to do to get back in shape…both exercise and eating better…and losing some weight….blessings on your efforts!

  7. Not a diet–it is taking care of your very precious self.
    With that in mind, I’m headed back to WW myself soon. I absolutely need the accountability.

  8. And the focus needs to be on the fact that you really didn’t fully lose control, as your weight is stable and you did not gain everything back. Yay! Hooray! One day at a time, dear friend, one day at at time… addictions are tricky. Taking that first step of going back was a huge hurdle. It’s time for me to face the music too.

  9. You go girl! I’m right there behind you in the WW weigh in line.
    Sigh.
    Oh, and I’ve committed to stay for the meetings, too.
    Anger. Hmm. That resounds.

  10. You’re fine, you know. You’re lovely. Of course you need to take care of yourself. Just don’t be mean to yourself. Deal?

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