Bless me, Weight Watchers, for I have sinned. It has been three months since my last meeting. While taking prednisone and coping with the various side effects, I attended a meeting after a good week of counting points, but instead of finding the meeting encouraging–although I'm sure it was, really–I found I could not bring myself to follow the point-tracking, mostly because I felt ill unless I ate at certain times and just could not make the whole program work in my typical perfectionist style.
This week I noticed my scale was under the radiator. Not a good sign. After putting so much effort into taking better care of myself, I had given up on doing anything but taking my Rheumatoid Arthritis meds. Getting to my goal weight just felt impossible. And frankly, my lowest weight came in May, at a moment when I was so ill I didn't care about what I was eating and hadn't been counting or tracking and lost weight because I was ill.
I have to say, this is my first time ever having an illness that potentially causes weight *loss.* But naturally the medication took me in the other direction.
My Saturday morning routine for almost a year was not eating a blessed thing until after I weighed in and sat through my meeting. At the moment, with a dish full of pills to take, and not on an empty stomach, that seems like a pretty distant goal, too. But as I've been listening to the economic news and considering what it takes to get the financial house in order, it occured to me that I might feel a bit better if I started tracking both my checkbook and my food intake more carefully.
It's the Weight Watchers secret: Tracking Works. If you have to write it down, you may well choose better. 1/2 a teaspoon of butter on my oatmeal, measured, is half a point. A knife's worth, who knows?
I can't quite bring myself to go to the meeting this week, but I did start the day by moving the Weight Watchers online link back to my toolbar from a Favorites file, and signing in, and tracking my breakfast. I measured everything. I had brown sugar and butter on my oatmeal, for a total of 1 point. I ate a banana.
Some of my stand-bys of weight loss may not work for me now. Salad doesn't always agree with me due to some of the medicine I'm taking, but I'm going to give it a try again.
It feels risky to put this out to the Internets, because I know tomorrow is the Harvest Dinner at church, and I will be facing a point-related challenge in 27 hours! I know how many times I've said, this is it! I'm taking better care of myself! But I am writing in hopes of encouraging myself to stick with it, to take control of something I can control at a time when so much is beyond me. And I share it with you because so many of you encouraged me in Round One. I have 11 pounds to lose to get to what I weighed at the meeting three months ago. That's my first goal.
And maybe next week I'll go to the meeting. We'll see.