Chez Songbird, Grrrls, Preaching, Writing

The Dangers of Tomato Sauce, or What It’s Like at My House on Saturdays

The Father of My Children got a last-minute plane ticket to Mitten-Shaped State to hear Snowman play Brahms and Barber solos with the Orchestra at Land O'Lakes Arts Academy, and Blonde Cousin wins the friend lottery as a result. She will take his ticket and go with Light Princess to the City Hall Auditorium tonight to hear Stomp!

The girls convened earlier and are upstairs discussing outfits, boys and online "dolling" as only two 13-year-olds can. A few minutes ago they came downstairs and Light Princess said, "We were thinking about dinner."

(There is a pause in the conversation, during which I recall an earlier conversation in which I suggested we eat the beautiful three cheese focaccia bread I bought at a local bakery, perhaps dipping it into tomato sauce.

"That," she answered, "doesn't sound very healthy."

I suggested adding a salad.

"Salad," she answered. "It doesn't have much nutritional value."

I briefly considered homicide.


No, really, only briefly.)

(So pardon me for wondering what sort of vegan, organic extravaganza might be suggested by these young ladies.)

"We were thinking about pizza," my daughter continued, and I saw looks of, I don't know, edgy anticipation on their faces.

(Because pizza is nothing like three-cheese focaccia with sauce, right? It's MUCH healthier.)

"Okay," I said.

"What?!?!!" This from both of them.

"We thought it would be harder," admitted my niece.

(They fail to understand: I am still working on my sermon.)

"What kind of pizza do you want?"

"Could we get that one with the ricotta cheese on it?" they ask me, cheerfully.

"You mean the one from R's, with the little spritzles of ricotta and four other cheeses and no tomato sauce?"


(Because that is NOTHING like three cheese focaccia. I had no idea the SAUCE was going to make it so unhealthy. Or perhaps the loss of two extra cheeses?)

I ask Pure Luck if he is okay with pizza for dinner.

(This is probably the most hilarious part of the conversation, since he has been known to say that they can pry his pizza from his cold, dead hands, Heston-like.)

Pure Luck is on board with pizza. He will even pick it up for us.

I order the pizza.

(I think I understand why Barbara Brown Taylor is famous, and I am not.)

18 thoughts on “The Dangers of Tomato Sauce, or What It’s Like at My House on Saturdays”

  1. teehee! “salad doesn’t have much nutritional value”–right…those vegetables, you know…pointless. (well, in WW they are but in real life not so much!)
    Now I want pizza. Or three cheese focaccia and tomato sauce.

  2. Seriously. What was that all about?
    I’ve got a three cheese focaccia with your name on it.

  3. I’m making tomato sauce at this very moment. Shall I bring it over to go with that poor, unappreciated focaccia?

  4. Yes, one day we will understand all of this and how it is to fit into the the great scheme of things..
    for now we will jsut puzzle over teens who will eat pizza over cheese bread dipped into tomato sauce…
    and be thankful for PL who picks up the pizza.
    I ma thinking of frozen pizza from local grocery-
    grtilled chicken

  5. oh…I feel bad cuz my partner is ordering us some pizza right now. Send my apologies to the tomato sauce and focaccia.

  6. Thanks to my personal Weather Channel team, zorra and St. Casserole, I am now baking a Grace Cake, which is more than some grrrls deserve…
    Yes, Hurricane Kyle is in the neighborhood. I am waiting for Jim Cantore to arrive.

  7. LOL.
    This post is hilarious. You couldn’t make stuff up better than this!
    I totally get Pure Luck’s pizza love. I would eat it, seriously, every day if my beloved would let me.
    But I will say the beautiful focaccia is making my mouth water.
    Time for supper.

  8. okay, so I cam back to read new comments and am once again giggling and wanting the food at your house.
    Instead I had rice.

  9. Come right over! We are now enjoying focaccia with Phantom’s tomato sauce while a Grace Cake (aka Texas Sheet Cake) bakes to protect us from the hurricane!!! (That part is true, by the way.)

  10. Hee hee! Great story. And I wonder if BBT ever had similar conversations, we just don’t know about them…

  11. Just think, some day when she’s in despair over some fussy-eating child of her own, you can remind her of this.

  12. Ok, but I don’t know who Barbara Brown Taylor is. And I do know who you are. So, *pbpbpbthpbdt* on her.

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