Itsy-Bitsy, Teeny-Weeny

It's Saturday night, and since I have the day off tomorrow, I am left with time to ponder athletic-wear. You know what I'm talking about. Why, oh why, are women athletes compelled to wear those bikini bottoms?

Also, how do they keep them in place? Seriously!

I guess when it comes to beach volleyball, I get it. It's a beach sport, after all. But Light Princess and I can't help noticing that many of the marathon runners are wearing the itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny running bottoms, and some of them don't fit, shall we say, "snugly" in or on the rear. I'm not a runner, but I can't imagine anything more miserable than running all those miles in a bikini bottom that leaves your bum hanging out for all the world, and in this case it really is all the world, to see.

On the one hand, I guess I like the idea of women being so confident and secure in their bodies that they can run or play games or whatever else in form-fitting gear that works for the particular sport. I've read that the beach volleyball players like the bikinis because they are snug enough to keep the sand out, and I can see where that might be beneficial.

Form follows function, I get it. But is this really case for long-distance runners? Their success is not simply about speed but about endurance.

The only reason the male beach volleyball players aren't topless? Sponsors didn't want to lose the advertising space on their tank tops.

It's enough to make a person cynical.

18 thoughts on “Itsy-Bitsy, Teeny-Weeny”

  1. I play at running. I have two pairs of running shorts. One is a pair of mens that are baggy and just longer than mid calf. The other pair are really short shorts (not bikinis). I wear the short shorts when it is really hot.(today for example) The baggier shorts legs rub against each other. I don’t run that fast so it doesn’t matter. It was supposed to be really hot in Beijing, so less may be better.
    On the other hand, if my body looked like those women’s I wouldn’t mind a bikini bottom! I can’t imagine in the marathon if it didn’t make you faster the Americans wouldn’t wear them.
    On the other hand (the right one now), the big thing here in running is running skirts. They are little skirts with compression shorts underneath. I simply don’t understand those except “cute”. They would drive me nuts. Of course, I haven’t tried them on.

  2. On the other hand (back to my left if you’re keeping track) their tan lines are about two inches below the bikini bottoms, so I’d guess they train in longer shorts.

  3. I noticed that, too, jc. Thanks for your input. As a walker, I know I don’t like loose “athletic” short, and I’ve wondered about the ones that come with tighter shorts underneath. I guess those are compression shorts?

  4. Imagine if the athletic wear was the same as the original Olympics! The men would be naked and the women in flimsy dresses.

  5. mr incredible offered up that maybe it makes the sport more appealing – he would be more likely to only watch the men, but now he’s not complaining about having to watch the women… i’m all for cynical… but i’m with you on the girl-power thing – i even wear a skirted swimsuit, but more power to those who want to!!

  6. I’m not at all athletic, but I know how annoying it is when long shorts ride up on one leg and get caught. It feels like you’re moving with a rubberband at crotch level. I’m not surprised women runners opted for those clothes the moment they became acceptable. And, of course, they don’t have to worry about their thighs rubbing together.

  7. My husband and I had a similar conversation about the bikini bottoms. I didn’t consider the bagginess factor of the longer short. Maybe I’m just wishing I could wear a bathing suit without a skirt!

  8. For walking and jazzercise, I wear the sort of longer, men’s shorts that Joan described. I feel more comfortable in them and they don’t bother me riding up (cotton)…
    Walking skirts!? Egads. Next we’ll have walking tutus.

  9. I know a student who plays competitive beach vollyball. She says that longer shorts–like bike shorts, skin tight–are just as good as the bikini bottoms at keeping the sand out.
    But they make your butt look big.

  10. Does it look like ‘running with a wedgie’? 🙂 I’m not a runner (prefer riding my bike), so I am really not qualified to weigh in on the attire…

  11. I’m not qualified to comment either, not being a runner of any sort. But I did have the same thought while watching beach volleyball. And as for the runners, what about the, um, chafing? Or are their thighs skinny enough they don’t have to worry about that? I prefer my bum securely covered, at most all times.

  12. Hee-hee, glad I’m not the only one wondering how those bikini bottoms stay in place. Mystifying.

  13. I’m thinking along the same lines as Bad Alice. Not that I run, heaven forbid. But running shorts have never fit me properly in the between the legs region. Chafe, chafe, rub, rub, annoy, annoy.
    Plus, those bikini things have gotta feel cooler.
    I am all about feeling cooler.

  14. Thanks, CR! I have.
    One last comment: Our Womens Eight just won Gold, and they are wearing shorts that hit them mid-thigh. Just sayin’.
    (Also, they sang along, out loud, to the National Anthem. So awesome.)

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