Psalms, Rheumatoid Arthritis

Searched and Known

O Lord, you have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away.
You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue, O Lord, you know it completely.

(Psalm 139:1-4, NRSV)

If we were to take this psalm quite literally, it might be a little terrifying! Do we REALLY want to think of God as having nothing better to do than to know how irritated we were in traffic this morning, or how angry we feel over something we saw on the news or how quickly we boiled over at someone we really love, even before the thoughts or the feelings process in us?

Even before a word is on my tongue…

Oh. Lord.

O Lord.

On the other hand, in the weeks I've been adjusting to medication intended to help with Rheumatoid Arthritis, there have been some nights when side effects woke me in the darkness. At my house, you can never really feel alone. Dogs snore and rustle in the living room, or a recent college graduate sits in the living room playing a game on his laptop, or a young teenager reads a good book until the wee hours, and always, without fail, a cat who thinks I am her mother follows me from one room to another, curling up on me or next to me. I am never alone. Even without them, I would never be alone.

God knows when I sit down and rise up, whether I wake with the birds or in the darkness or not until the alarm rings. A power stronger than illness or sleep or even the devotion of a cat anticipates my movements.

Somehow, that's comforting.

6 thoughts on “Searched and Known”

  1. My house is full of cat scratchings and now a hamster wheel turning all night. For some reason the cats need to play “purr/lick/bite” at about 3 or 4 in the morning. I will think of you next time I’m up then. Me and God will keep you comp’ny. PS, love the new look here.

  2. It is comforting, isn’t it? I wish that for everyone I love, and even those who prickle me, maybe even more.

  3. I have always found this to be a comforting psalm, especially in times of pain or when the future is so unknown and terrifying. Blessings Songbird.

  4. Songbird, ever since I had my second knee replaced in May, I’ve had trouble sleeping. I just can’t get comfortable at night. Sometimes I get 4 hours, sometimes as much as 6, but I rarely can fall asleep before 1:00 or later. I will be praying especially for you during those times.

  5. I’ve spent this morning at the Leavers’ Service for children moving up from our church Primary School to their secondary school next term…I got to bless each leaver individually, and found myself using
    “The Lord watch over your going out and your coming in…”
    I love it…So very parental…
    Even in the small hours xxx

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