Friday Five

Friday Five: Will Smama Wants to Know Edition

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As posted by teh will smama at RevGalBlogPals:

Parishioners pushing for carols before you digested your turkey?

Organist refusing to play Advent hymns because he/she already has them planned for Lessons & Carols?

Find yourself reading Luke and thinking of a variety of ways to tell Linus where to stick it? (Lights please.)

Then
this quick and easy Friday Five is for you! And for those of you with a
more positive attitude, have no fear. I am sure more sacred and
reverent Friday Fives will follow.

Please tell us your least favorite/most annoying seasonal….

1) dessert/cookie/family food — I’m afraid that in this era of "Don’t Let’s Call It a Diet," most of the holiday foods sound like a challenge, more because I love them than because I don’t. So I guess I’ll have to say EVERYTHING!!!

But seriously…fruitcake. Never touched it, never will.

2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc…) — Last year I was really enjoying the Eggnog Latte at Star$$$$$. Now I know how many calories and grams of fat it has. I hates it, precious.

Which is all very strange, since I think the real eggnog is gross.

3) tradition (church, family, other) — At our annual family event, where the kids sing and recite and play instruments, my nephew has been assigned the task of reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas." And although he has been doing it for many years, and he is a senior in high school and a bright boy, there has been no improvement in his delivery. And when it’s being read in a monotone, that is one long story.

4) decoration — Those blow-up Santas and other Christmas-themed decorations in people’s yards are awful. They scare me.

Although I did get a kick out of seeing the Abominable in someone’s yard last year. But don’t tell the Taste Police, okay?

5) gift (received or given) — A few years ago the kids gave their father a beautiful basket full of posh household items and books and CDs. They felt badly because it was the first year they had spent Christmas morning only with me after spending it only with him the prior year. (We had done it together for many years.) I went all out in helping them gather these charming items, and we spared little expense. Even the basket was useful, a good-looking wicker laundry basket. Among the little items was a little gadget you run across the counter or tablecloth to pick up crumbs.

The next year he gave it to me. I didn’t think it was funny.

(The tiny plum pudding we pass back and forth every year? Very, very funny.)

BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it. "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." Makes my skin crawl every time.

You don’t have to be a RevGal to play. If Christmas is already on your last nerve, feel free to join in!

30 thoughts on “Friday Five: Will Smama Wants to Know Edition”

  1. Well done you! Your ‘delivery’ of the punch lines cracked me up on 3 of them.
    Also, I hate that small part of me wants EVERY blow up in my yard, you know right next to the cemetary.

  2. When I was growing up, we had only tasteful candles at the window, and thought it was hilarious that our neighbor/cousin had a tack Santa on his porch roof. That made him unusual and eccentric. Clearly, the world has changed.

  3. that regifting was just tacky. I’m thinking that if the neighbors do their blow-up Christmas decorations again, I may just HAVE to get an abominable snowdude…
    d

  4. I want to set all those inflatable thingies FREE and let them sail away!
    Yeah, yeah, I know. They won’t float. I can dream, though!
    I’ve decided, no gift exchanging with my wife-in-law this year. It’s my worst example ever of getting someone something because you feel you should. We just don’t “get” each other and shouldn’t try. (As if to prove this to me, she is having an online garage sale (!!!) and selling a Wedgwood clock I bought her in England several years ago.) (and she sent me an email inviting me to shop at her online garage sale with this item in it!)

  5. Good grief, Mary Beth!
    How much does she want for that clock? Would it be worth it to buy it, and would that shame her, just a little?
    PS, at the party I attended last night, there were NO vegetables. Only delicious hors d’oeuvres. It was challenging. At least shrimp is okay.

  6. “Twas the Night Before Christmas” read in a monotone… For some reason, that one really cracks me up! (Maybe it’s the visual image of everyone being ‘held captive’ during the reading.)

  7. Songbird- regarding the road kill and the reindeer on my post- you are correct. It was Grandma. I think my “Santa Issues” leaked out… Ever since I was told by a senior colleague that I must keep my four year old from sharing the Santa secret in her Sunday School class….. I’ve had issues.

  8. I’m with you on the fruitcake =) Have you seen those Santas, snowmen, etc. that look like they’re in a snowglobe? How much electricity do you think it takes to keep those things going? Maybe no more than outdoor lights =)

  9. AND do you know what those snowglobes COST?
    Outrageous! The worst one I ever saw was the Grinch. Sorry about number 5. 🙁 Seriously bad form, to say the least.

  10. 1. dessert — really, the only objectionable one is the fruitcake.
    2. beverage — what is with mulled red wine?
    3. tradition — hmm. very sad for your nephew, songbird. all i’ve got is relatives who get their cards done at thanksgiving, while i’m usually trying to decide if late cards are better than nothing.
    4. decorations — with everyone on the overpriced tacky inflated moving things.
    5. gifts — this is embarassing to admit, but i almost cried the year my MIL gave us a thousand place settings of cheap holiday dishes featuring snowmen. it was the same year my sisters gave me lovely and useful serving dishes in a pattern my husband had gifted me with a couple years before, a pattern i secretly hated. and i had no idea where to put all this crockery.

  11. Re: #4: ooh, they scare me, too, especially the Santas.
    But I have to admit I liked the blow-up dreidl and menorah that were around the corner from our house last year.

  12. mary beth — one of my favorite people calls her spouse’s ex her wife-in-law, and i adore that term!
    still — my sisters and i agreed years ago, and convinced our cousins, that our generation will not exchange gifts. that has been a great relief. the kids still get gifted, less generously once they reach majority, and we all remember our fabulous aunt with a little something.

  13. Not doing it. Posted enough today and still have one waiting to be typed. Also,although I feel everyone’s pain and also got quite a few chuckles, I can’t answer most of the questions because there’s almost nothing I don’t like. (Well, I’m not too fond of Grandma Got Run Over… nor of the Mannheim Steamroller/Trans-Siberian style of music; and there are some other styles of pop music that I feel are not at all appropriate for religious carols. I’ve had both good and bad fruitcake, very likely will never have it again as I moved away from one good fruitcake source and won’t go out of my way to get it. But that’s all.) Then again, the only work I have to do for Christmas now is for my near and dear, and get some charity presents. When I was a church admin person I had a few more issues!

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