Children, Mothering


(Last night at the Parents Meeting, school administrators warned us that we would at some point feel dismissed by our children. Herewith, my day.)

Scene One:

(Sitting in lobby of school "hotel" waiting for Snowman to meet me for lunch. He is late. I call #1 Son.)

#1 Son: Good to hear from you. I’m having lunch with friends, so I have to get back. Bye!

Scene Two:

(Lunch has ended. No sign of Snowman. I walk to dorm to drop off purchases from school store.)

Snowman: I didn’t see you at the cafeteria.

Songbird: I thought we agreed to meet in the lobby. I sat there for over an hour.

Snowman: Oh. I met some friends and went in, and then I played ping-pong.

Songbird: I turned down an invitation to eat with some other moms.

Snowman: If other moms invite you, you should go.

Songbird: But I thought we had plans!

Scene Three:

(Outside Music Majors meeting an hour later.)

Songbird: Want to meet for dinner?

Snowman: Oh. Um. Okay.

(Snowman’s eyes: Please get an invitation from other mothers.)

Scene Four:

(In which our heroine calls home, feeling mildly dejected, hoping to hear from The Princess after her first full day of school. Pure Luck hears her coming up the walk and puts her on the phone.)

Songbird: Hi, honey! It’s good to hear your voice!!

The Princess: Oh, hi.  Mom, my friends are outside, and I’m going to 7-11. Bye!

22 thoughts on “Dismissed?”

  1. And I guess it’s not too much of a comfort that your bloggy friends were sitting at their computers hoping for your next post about all this?
    I wonder what horrible things I did to my parents, besides the year I decided I didn’t want to go to the Father-Daughter Dance, and never mentioned it to my parents, thinking that way Dad would never know about it. Of course, I’m sure the parents association was communicating directly with my parents! (And oddly, perhaps passive aggressively, my parents never mentioned it to me.) But still. Not nice of me at all.

  2. Oh! They grow up…and there we are…still seeing them as our little ones…sigh…wish I were closer (so close, and yet so far away)…I’d join you for dinner. And we’d laugh and share stories, and forget we had kids. (oh, yeah, right) (I’m sure we’d laugh, at least!)…

  3. Also, if it’s any help, think of how you would feel if your kids didn’t have any friends and just had to hang out with you all the time. We work and work to make our children into people who can successfully leave home and interact with others — that doesn’t mean it’s always easy! They’ll appreciate you someday soon.

  4. OTOH, isn’t it wonderful that you have raised them to be happy, outgoing, self-sufficient people? Good job, Mama Songbird!
    Sounds like Snowman is adjusting well. I think it’s harder for us parents left behind in some ways. Hugs.

  5. What they all said. And ouch. And thanks for sharing it. Of course they’re doing just what you’d want them to do, if you didn’t want them to do something else right this minute.
    My job is technically sending students away…students who are adults…but parents are a big part of the group I serve. For this very reason.

  6. Hattie Gandhi, aged 4, 1st day of Real School
    “You can go now, Mummy. I’m grown up now”
    and in without a backward glance…
    And so it goes on.
    But hooray that they are all such splendid, poised individuals, ripe for launching into the world….and hugs and loves for when you feel like a pair of outgrown shoes (as I do far too frequently).
    The boomerang effect does seem to hold good, in that there will be many happy returns to look forward to.

  7. Oh, dear. Given this entry, I thought you might especially enjoy a comic from “For Better or For Worse” which ran on Sunday, July 29, 2007!
    I posted the link as my URL, because I couldn’t figure out how to create a link in the comment here. So click on my name (below) and it should take you to the comic. 🙂

  8. This is life … they are growing and it’s wonderful – though a tinsy bit painful too … they’ll all be driving you mad again at Christmas – so enjoy the girls only days in the next few weeks
    don’t clip their wings – they were (all) meant to fly and so were we 🙂

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