Early in the morning, before the break of day, Snowman, The Princess and I will board a bus bound for Beantown, where we will catch a train to The Big Apple and see #1 Son in a play. When we return I will be re-packing and leaving the next day for a week at church camp.
The last time I worked at the summer camp, three years ago, I had a blog, but I was using it mostly as a place to post sermons. It was nothing close to the daily activity it is now. I didn’t think twice about what leaving it behind would mean.
This year I’m thinking about it a lot.
Recently, being part of the blogosphere has not been the joy it once was. I’ll admit it: my feelings are hurt. Others are hurt, too. I’m contemplating issues that had not been part of my reality, examining my reasons for believing certain things. I, who once thought of myself as among the most liberal and inclusive of people, have been pushed to the edge of orthodoxy. I, who once thought of myself as hip and well-informed, have been forced to realize that I’m apparently conventional.
Blogging hardly seems an appropriate activity for the person I am turning out to be. Perhaps parchment and a quill pen?
Of course, blogging is a requirement of my membership in an organization that has meant a great deal to me. So when I say that I am thinking of retiring from blogging, I’m speaking of something broader, too.
I’m appreciative of the supportive comments left here by many, many people, particularly as I have undertaken changes in my life. I am grappling with how to process sad and difficult feelings without the crutch of overeating, and because blogging about them feels inappropriate, I’m going to have to find a different place to put them.
I’m reading the artful posts of friends, and thinking about how I used to write that way, and recognizing that I don’t have the heart to do it right now.
I feel like a drag, and that’s not what I want my blogging to be.
So, I’m heading out for the next ten days or so. Most of that time I will be offline. I hope when I come back I’ll feel like writing here.