Don't Let's Call It a Diet, Health

Getting Started

After a couple of days of wallowing in various stages of grief:

  • Denial (this isn’t happening to me!)
          
  • Anger (why is this happening to me?)
          
  • Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
          
  • Depression (I don’t care anymore)

I made a decision about the food and weight portion of the suggestions my physician made on Tuesday. This morning I went to Weight Watchers.

It’s a choice freighted with all sorts of old baggage. I worked the program very successfully many years ago, but got pregnant when just shy of my goal weight. Somehow that ended up feeling like a failure to me, despite the fact the difference was so small. And there is other emotional material attached that I will not share here, but say only that this felt like a tough call, weighing a known program that works against the emotions that make me a little less than rational when it comes to making this decision.

I stood in line and registered, then stood in line to be weighed. As I came around the corner and the WW employee came out of her cubby, I realized she was the old friend and neighbor who coached me through Weight Watchers the first time. My eyes filled with tears. She exclaimed excitedly, while I made embarrassed noises about how many years it had been and what a surprise it was to arrive on my first day and find her.

"It’s a sign," she said, "a sign from the Loving God."

I cried a little more.

"You know what to do," she said. "Make yourself a priority."

I’m not sure I know how to do that, but I’m going to try.

I guess this is Stage 5.

  • Acceptance (I’m ready for whatever comes)

27 thoughts on “Getting Started”

  1. You rock rock rock!
    The program has gotten SO much better every time I have been in it. I know you will love its new face, and I know it will love you. Your friend sure does. And I do and God does too.
    Blessings!

  2. Wow. How wonderful to be ministered to at such an important moment! I’m so thrilled for you! I hope it is wonderful experience. You deserve every blessing that comes to you.

  3. (((Songbird)))
    I got goosebumps reading this. It seems such an answer to your cry for much needed support and help, when for so long you were the one giving all the support and help. Yay! What a blessed reconnection and affirmation of your courage.

  4. You are strong–and you’re not quite the same person you were whenever these old hurts you allude to happen, or when you did WW before. Of course there’s a you-ness to you (a beautiful you-ness!), but you’ve changed, too. You have strength. And it’s great that you’re using that strength to care for yourself–and with an old friend by your side.

  5. ((((Songbird))))
    I’m so glad that your friend was there to walk you through this first brave step. You are indeed a rock star!

  6. I am PROUD of you! Let us be your cheerleaders. In fact, I really need to join you. Maybe you were just my cheerleader! God works in mysterious ways!

  7. Very proud of you!
    (shaking out her pompons she keeps stored in the guest closet)
    Two, four, six, eight,
    Healthy way to shed the weight!
    Songbird! Songbird!
    Yaaaaayyyy, Songbird!
    (/cheerleading)

  8. Congratulations on deciding that you are worth good stewardship.
    I read a very interesting book this month, “Rethinking Thin” and highly recommend it to anyone who has chronically struggled with weight issues. One very interesting premise of the book is that being overweight is NOT a psychological problem. I found the history of society’s attitudes toward and treatments of obesity very enlightening.

  9. Why, of course it’s a sign! How lovely that she was there. Just remember how good it felt to be in control of it all, and how much more energy you will have and how much more of a sense of well being comes with knowing you are taking care of you. I will keep you in my prayers Songbird. Email any time you need some encouragement, ok? (journeythroughgrace AT hotmail DOT com)

  10. catching up on blogs and SO glad to see this, SO glad for the woman who greeted you and the grace she showed you, SO glad for this step you’re taking. you have my e-mail I think, i too am happy to provide encouragement anytime! YAY!

  11. So cool that she was there to support you in that first step! At week 9, I’m “only” 7 pounds away from my first 10% goal. My leader was interviewed on tv a couple weeks ago, when the station did a story on a woman who shed 181 pounds, and gave big credit to my leader. A couple years ago, at my great aunt’s funeral, I couldn’t figure out where her oldest son was, and why on earth he wasn’t at his mom’s funeral…I was also trying to figure out who this strange guy was that kept hanging with the family! I hadn’t seen J in a couple of years, and didn’t recognize him 160 pounds lighter!!! Hugs and kudos to you as you begin this trek to wellness!

  12. I am, as we say in my family, hugging you with my brain. (Disgusting phrase, isn’t it? It’s what happens when everyone’s spread around the country, though.)
    I’m so proud of you. To me, weight is almost never about weight itself, but about all the other self-feelings that are raw and scared and hurt. Cheers to healing, however that may come.

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