The 11:34 News

Here are tonight’s headlines from City By the Sea.

Songbird Works Thirteen Hour Day, Plus Travel. Arrives Home Late. Misses Last Day of School Festivities.

Street Lights on My Street Seem to Be Out.

No One at Home Turned On Porch Light.

Pure Luck Insisted on Walk, Which Began at 10:50 p.m.

Temperature Here Is 51.

I Might Should Have Worn More Clothes While Walking.

Where Is My Flannel Nightgown?

Is It Fair to Leave Me the Dishes From a Meal I Neither Cooked Nor Ate?

Postcard From Land O’Lakes Invites Snowman to Begin Registering for Fall Classes.

Box From Amazon Delivers THREE NEW BOOKS!!!! Stephanie Pearl-McPhee Casts Off: The Yarn Harlot’s Guide to the Land of Knitting, A Thousand Splendid Suns and We Need to Talk About Kevin.

Kind of Too Tired to Read Tonight.

And on tomorrow’s front page:

Four Girls To Visit Fun Town, Celebrate Birthday of The Princess!!! Somebody’s Mother Plans to Knit in Public!

What’s the news at your house?

18 thoughts on “The 11:34 News”

  1. Good morning! Hope you have nice wool socks on, along with that flannel nightgown even as I write! My news is: I am driving. I am practicing with a cane. I am working hard and feeling great. LM has appointed herself my “girl friday” so last night she came with me to a social justice network meeting, helping me to carry some of my gear. She slays me when she gets this very no-nonesense, serious, determined look of “out my way folks, I’ve got important things to do.” God I adore my kid! Have a fun knitting in public and celebrating Princess’ b-day. 🙂

  2. Some Animal Relaxed Somewhere Inappropriate: Search Continues!
    Hot Weather Wilts Preacher! Praises Air Condition!
    LS and LD Out-of-State: Parents Party!

  3. Our news: I pulled a pair of wool socks out of the drawer yesterday … I thought they were packed away for the duration. Eldest’s teachers finally stopped giving homework, four days before school ends. Her Ladyship’s flute was found on the bus. Planning a trip to visit family in Georgia at the end of the month. The baby is kicking up a storm and I am exhausted all the time.

  4. Shell collector lays out clean wares on counter! Warns all not to touch!
    RevPal Meetup Redux Scheduled at Beach: RevGalMomPals to Meet!
    Young Baby and Momma Already at Beach!
    Many Well Loved People Together in Small House! Thanksgivings for Beach Escape Option, Naps!

  5. Local Pediatrician caught yelling at son in public!
    Husband Homicide ruled due to Husband Deafness!
    Miss Teen gets 100% on Driver’s Ed Test!
    Sweat, the new pheromone!

  6. Blanket Removed From Bed. Only One Left. Night Sweats Continue.
    Woman Walks 10 Straight Days. Family Amazed.
    Teenage Son Narrowly Avoids Strangling After Requesting Twelve Rides in Four Summer Days
    Skillet Cornbread Is Yummy
    Congrats on the continued walking. Wanna trade climates?
    Happy Birthday to the Princess!

  7. Younger Daughter Glamorous in Very Sophisticated Prom Dress
    Son Wins Theatre Award at High School Graduation
    Older Daughter Announces Plan to Apply to Peace Corps
    Younger Son in First Horse Show
    Mom Boards Plane for Business Trip to Seattle: Weepy, Proud,Panicked and Very Tired
    Childhood Friend Sends Warm Congrats to Somgbird for Walking Triumph

  8. Doc Says Triglycerides Too High, Take More Meds, Get Off Butt and Move
    Husband Calls at Lunch, Says, “I Told You So”
    Wife Tries to Reach Through Phone and Clock Husband on Balding Head
    Middle Son Whines, “There’s Nothing Fun to Do-o-o-o-o!”
    Youngest Son Arriving Home on School Bus Shortly; Experts Predict He’ll Pick Fight with Big Brother

  9. “Day Off” Turns Out To Be Euphemism For “Hurriedly Write Wedding Sermon Before Out-of-Town Rehearsal!”
    Cats Finally Play Selves Out, Must Rest
    Someone In Household of One Ate Last Box of Mac-N-Cheese, Neglected to Tell Anyone

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