Relationships, The Male Animal

Sigh No More, Ladies

Sigh no more ladies, sigh no more;
Men were deceivers ever;
One foot on sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never;
Then sigh not so,
But let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny;
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey, nonny, nonny.

William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

‘Tis a hard thing to be eleven years old and learn that the boy you fancy has invited another girl to the Renowned Middle School dance to be held next Friday.

If you are a civilized girl, you may claim that you wish neither the boy you fancy, nor the girl he fancies, any ill. You may waffle on this point when reflecting on the fact that two short months ago this same boy you fancy insisted that you were all too young to date. Why did he lie to you, you wonder, since he obviously doesn’t believe it!!!!! But he’s a nice guy, so why did he do these things?

If you are her quasi-self-actualized, middle-aged mother, you will no doubt encourage her to feel her natural sadness and, yes, anger. You will tell her that even the nicest guys can be Boofuses, and you will then poke your husband with your foot for emphasis, remembering the time he was a great big Boofus.*

If you are a wise elder brother, looking back from the distance of four years to sixth grade, you will repeat needlessly the thought that none of this really matters, to cries of anguish from your little sister.

If you are a kindly stepfather, you will point out gently the logical fallacies in all the arguments being made and point out that our feelings can overwhelm our logic in such situations and there is nothing for it but to feel them in all their confusing tumult.

And if you are eleven years old and finally able to admit you want to cry over this boy with funny hair who doesn’t wash it often enough, you might start to feel better…tomorrow.

*Boob+Doofus=Boofus (a word coined by Snowman when he was small)

21 thoughts on “Sigh No More, Ladies”

  1. Oh, poor Princess. I hope the support of her wonderful family helps ease the blow. (And it sounds like the boy really is being a Boofus).

  2. I remember my dad picking me up from a boy-girl party around that age–I just cried and cried while he sat sympathetically nearby. And there was even a boy there that everyone had “picked out” for me! It was all just too huge and overwhelming.
    Y’all done good.

  3. What jo(e) said. I can look back now and laugh at all of it, but at the time it was all very painful, angsty, and uber-important.

  4. Ah, those were the days…
    In situations like this I am reminded of a poster one of my college friends had of a stick figure running away. The caption was “Boys are stupid. Let’s throw rocks at them.”

  5. I agree with Grace. Middle School stuff is awful for girls!
    The Princess, may she reign forever and find her Prince…but not for several years after college and grad school.

  6. In my family, we use a similar word of slightly different construction: dork + doofus = dorkus. Hugs to the princess!

  7. The blighter….Please tell the Princess that I am despatching Dillon forthwith to bark incessantly beneath the window of the Boofus, as the worst punishment I can think of for his crass stupidity. And give her a hug from her UK fan base, please xxx

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