Church Life, Family

Dinnertime Stream of Consciousness

Songbird: I read something today that says church has become feminized.

Pure Luck: But the whole thing is totally patriarchal!

Songbird: Something about the color of the walls being pink. These walls are lilac. Do you feel less manly when you come in here to eat dinner?

#2 Son: Definitely.

Songbird: So what color should the walls be? Blood red?

Pure Luck: That’s right.

#2 Son: And black. Red and black. That’s why we like ketchup! It’s the color of blood.

The Princess: When I was at Montessori, there were girl colors and boy colors. Girl colors were pink and purple and occasionally yellow, but all the other colors belonged to the boys. I couldn’t have green as my favorite color!

Songbird: They were also complaining that flowers on the altar were too girly.

Pure Luck: We should have the bodies of those we have slain decorating the church.

#2 Son: Yeah.

Songbird: They also seemed to think men wanted to hear more high content sermons, full of theology and the Bible.

#2 Son: More like high contact! "Praise God from whom all blessings flow" (POW!!) "Praise God all creatures here below (SHOVE!!)

Pure Luck: You need more pictures of David and Goliath.

Songbird: That performance certainly went over well.

#2 Son: I told you. High Contact.

Pure Luck: You should make church more like the World Wrestling Federation.

Songbird: I see. That would certainly be manly…I read some unbelievable stuff about how women should step back and accept the headship of men, step aside and let them lead, even if they don’t want to do it. I guess the root of the problem is people who are unhappy about the ordination of women.

The Princess: I don’t see why. You, and the other ministers you know, you’re preaching and bringing the message of love. God made you want to do that, so how could it bother him? Uh, her? We need a new pronoun.

Pure Luck: Well, according to some things in the Bible, you aren’t even supposed to talk in church.

The Princess: But they were just writing about the ways in their time. If we were writing now about who we think should preach, people in 500 or 1000 years might look back and think we had different ideas. They might think animals should preach!

Molly: Wroo!

35 thoughts on “Dinnertime Stream of Consciousness”

  1. Love it! I’m trying to negotiate simultaneous falling-out-of-my-chair laughing at “the bodies of the slain” and grateful appreciation of the Princess’s wisdom – “they were just writing about the ways in their time.” I would so love to have dinner at your house. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. LOVE IT!! ROFL
    PRincess is wise indeed. Mind you I also greatly admire the sarcasm (or so I hope it is) of Pure Luck and Son #2.

  3. Thanks be to God for the Songbird family!
    Some friends and I decided we needed corporate sponsorship to really jazz up the place…
    “The King of Kings, brought to you by the King of Beers”

  4. Yay for the Princess–and yes, we do need a new pronoun!
    Seriously, doesn’t all this “the church is too feminized for men” make you want to scream? The conservatives in the Episcopal church have been complaining about this. I just want to say two things:
    –why is the opposite of feminized = normal?
    –get over it!!

  5. Dont you just love dinnertime conversations? We sing a song in our church choir that was inspired by one. And, has princess been reading Wicked, the story of the Wicked Witch of the West? The animal thing is woven throughout.

  6. …much more sophisticated conversation than at our house, where PH tells me stories of his wacky colleagues and I talk about how I unpacked twenty more boxes…
    “We need a new pronoun.” I love it!

  7. What a fun dinner table!
    Full-body-contact gospel readings — that could certainly be interesting….
    Hooray for the Princess — she’s very wise indeed.

  8. Hmmm….feminization of the church? Perhaps that’s simply a recognition that, um, well, 80 percent of the people doing the work at my church are women…so, well, duh. ๐Ÿ™‚
    I’d love to have dinner in the Songbird house…wit, earnestness, sarcasm, theology. Awesome!

  9. I don’t know if I was part of the Rev Gals when I wrote a long rant about this. I’m going to post a link to it, and a link to this hilarious post.
    If it didn’t make me steaming mad, I’d be laughing myself silly. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. When I was growing up, we never had conversations like this at the dinner table. For some reason, my two older brothers and I always talked about burping and farting and boogers and that sort of thing. Like your story, those conversations did make for an interesting meal, but in a vastly different way.
    Can I come eat with you guys?
    mark

  11. No no Songbird, the heads of the dead get impaled i=on pikes as a warning to others. The bodies can be hung by the heels or quatered and sent off in other directions, also as a warning (although I am not sure what you might be warning about). It is how the kings of England did it for years.

  12. This is TOO GOOD! I was hooting with laughter all the way through it. What wise (and wise-acre) people live at your house! This is the best response to that stupid claim (the church is too feminized) that I have ever read. Kudos to the Lucky Songbird family!

  13. My hat is off to all of you! Now I’m going to have to dig out my “ten suggestions for de-feminizing the church.”
    (Oh, and I believe the Body of the Slain should indeed be placed on the altar every Sunday…)

  14. I’m late to this party, but I’ll post this anyway. My alma mater, bless its little soul, published this article in its spring alumni magazine.
    http://www.biola.com/admin/connections/articles/06spring/feminization.cfm
    And yes — they’re serious.
    When I got done choking on my own aneurysm, I thought of every one of you awesome ladies (and enlightened gentlemen) in this sort-of rev-blog-ish community in which I lurk but rarely participate, and my blood pressure fell back to normal levels and I was thankful for y’all.

  15. concretegodmother, I’m with you on the blood pressure rising. Some of what is being said is so ridiculous it’s hard to know how to answer.
    Come and hang out with us! It’s healthful to be in community with like-minded souls. (Gee, I made a reference to the mind. Amazing.)

  16. Interesting that the concerns of men are not only ridiculed but said to have no merit at all. Oh… wait a minute, that’s actually the norm these days. Good luck in ‘having it all’.

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