Miscellaneous

Lessons I Have Learned

Berner*Getting to school late because the dogs were misbehaving is a good way to avoid the playground.

*If you’re a child who behaves well all the time, principals, vice-principals and teachers will always give you the benefit of the doubt. This does not necessarily mean they will do anything about the boy who kicks you.

*The boy’s parents are, however, a different matter. They allow as how they will punish him. (Is their speed in reaching this decision one of the reasons he kicks in the first place?)

*A boy who kicks is “not cute anymore.”

*An upsetting and embarassing day in fifth grade may well be followed by one in which nothing happens.

The_wood_one_1*A Buffet R13 B-flat clarinet is not necessarily a Buffet R13 Greenline B-flat clarinet.

*The only party to the purchase who didn’t know this was the one who placed the order.

*People with eustachian tube problems are just like Buffet R13 clarinets when they are not Greenline clarinets: both require a boost in the humidity in the winter months, which is to say both the Ear/Nose/Throat doctor and the clarinet teacher recommend the purchase of a humidifier. Do you suppose there is a store running a 2-for-1 special?

*Concerts may not be played in the order advertised, so there is no possible chance that I will be arriving late when #2 Son plays tonight. I will be delivering him there early. I’ll bring some knitting.

*The same husband who hears you say you will call if you won’t be home by 4 and calls you when you’re not home at 4:10 may also have heard you say you were taking the afternoon off when nothing is further from the truth.

Bracelet*It’s all very well to hint that you want a certain item of jewelry for Valentine’s Day, but jewelry featuring heart-shaped decorations tends to sell out early this time of year for some reason.

*If you leave the car windows open for the dogs while they are sitting in your car outside the church, and then your husband picks up the dogs, but you don’t think about closing the windows again, snow and rain will come in through those open windows.

24*If you rent past seasons of “24” from Netflix and watch an episode while working out on the elliptical machine, there is a high probability of staying on the machine for 42 minutes.

*If you want to hang in there for two, you need to work your way up to it.

Walkin3*And if you stay up late working on your devotional piece about Jesus walking on water (John 6), it’s entirely possible that you won’t remember what you had in mind for your sermon on the healing of Peter’s mother (Mark 1) when you have to hurry and choose hymns because the person who copies the bulletins is standing and waiting for you to finish.

5 thoughts on “Lessons I Have Learned”

  1. No kidding.
    I’m glad today was a quiet day for the Princess.
    Gorgeous bracelet. Maybe the dawgs want to give it to you for Valentine’s Day? The kittens are shopping for something special, I just know it!

  2. I love “24” — it never occurred to me to hit the treadmill while it was playing. As if my heart isn’t pounding enough while Jack is off saving civilization!!

  3. No, this realization came just the other day, when Doctor First Clarinet gave instructions for the care and feeding of this precious wooden instrument. #2 Son said, “But it’s a Greenline!” Um, no.The original teacher recommended the Greenline, then left town. When Doctor First Clarinet listened to it in September, he didn’t know we were expecting a Greenline.
    It’s a very nice horn, so it’s not that he doesn’t want it. It just requires better looking-after than the other would have needed. Now I have to buy a humidifier for his room, for instance.

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