Discernment, Reflectionary

At First Sight

There are some people you just love at first sight. I’m not talking about romantic love, or a sexual thing, although I know they happen, but rather the kind of thing where you meet someone and make an immediate connection that you hope will be part of your life for a long time to come. Somehow you know that meeting this person matters.

There are some people you love at first sight who love you back, but it doesn’t always turn out that way. Maybe they are slower on the uptake, or maybe their energy is something you need to learn from, but yours is less significant for them.

I hate when that happens, whichever part I am playing.

When there is a delay in realizing on one side, it may be due to different styles of apprehending the world. The night I met Pure Luck, we responded strongly, but differently, to one another. I’m an iNtuitive Feeler (don’t you know all clergy love Myers-Briggs?), and he is a Sensation Thinker. I have a response to a person or a place or a thing and it’s all about intuition and feeling—instinct, emotional response. He observes data in a rational manner. He knew I liked him because I gave a little gasp when he touched me. For Pure Luck, that was observable and incontrovertible data.

I can’t read the data at all. I only have responses. I know how I feel, but not how he feels. (Or at least I didn’t then.) I could only hope that since I was feeling something intense, he was, too. He, on the other hand, wasn’t aware of having feelings…

I’m thinking about this because of Jonah and Jesus, who I’ll be talking about tomorrow morning, and about the people who responded to them with such immediacy. Jonah walked through Nineveh, calling on people to repent, and they got right to it!! Jesus wandered down to the lakeshore and said, “Follow me!” and people dropped what they were doing and followed him down the road.

Somehow I doubt the people who took off with Jesus were Sensation Thinkers.

How do we know when it’s the right time to change our lives dramatically? What drives us to decide? Was Peter in the midst of a mid-life crisis, burnt out on the fishing and wishing for something new? Is that why he dropped his nets and left his boat to follow Jesus, just for the change?

I think it’s true that we are more responsive to the new, whatever form it takes, at certain moments and phases of our lives. Some of the things I hope for at my church this year will be a stretch for the people. Are they really at the place for new things? Will they drop the nets of caution or complacency? Or am I the one on my own brink, ready to drop my own nets, carefully woven over the past three years of ministry and 44 years of life? They contain good threads and bad, things I would be sorry to drop and things I would be afraid to leave behind because even when they are not what I like about myself, I don’t know how to live without them.

But to turn, as the Ninevites did, to follow as Peter and Andrew and James and John, there is no stopping to observe the data. It’s all about responding.

Fishingnetscrop_1

And immediately they left their nets and followed him. Mark 1:18, NRSV

5 thoughts on “At First Sight”

  1. Wow. So was Peter the right person at the right time because it was predestined, or was he the “rock” of the ones who showed up?
    And as we try something new in a ministry I’m involved in, will it bring in the right people? (Are there any “wrong” people?) Run off some who are already here?
    Will God use whoever shows up? or should I ask that differently, HOW will God use whoever shows up?
    this one hit me between the eyes. thanks.

  2. As I write this comment, I’m hidden away in the church office, while downstairs in the Vestry, they are discussing and eventually voting on a budget that includes the first salary increase I will have received, if it passes. After three+ years, you might think it would be about time for at least a cost of living increase. But I’m not sure if this will fly, not sure at all. Since I can’t afford to continue working for my current salary, a “no” vote will forcibly spur on my discernment process. I wish it could unfold naturally, although in a way it would be harder to leave, if that’s what I am to do, after being treated well in this way.
    Keep me in your prayers, friends, that I might respond to Christ’s call, wherever it leads.

  3. Oh,dear. I’m not sure how to pray on this one.
    What a pickle.
    On the one hand, I believe it is *scandalous* that you have been there 3+ years without a raise.
    On the other, as you say, wouldn’t this be the perfect *sign* from God if you don’t get one?
    Thy will be done, Lord. That’s all I can pray.

  4. Dear Songbird,
    Prayers are in place.
    Oh, those budgeting conversations, just came froma hard one myself…So hard to be the people of God around this money stuff.
    Sigh,
    Jennifer

Leave a Reply