Mid-life Crisis


Gimme a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair!

Today, I did it. I went to the hairdresser and let a professional take charge of my grey hair dilemma. The young lady cut my hair a couple of months ago as part of a fundraiser for Juvenile Diabetes research. She works for the sister of Fair Chair at a cute salon not far from home, and I liked the haircut, so I thought, “What could it hurt? I’ll let her do color.”

She’s not much older than #1 Son.

I felt a little old sitting there in the chair as she ran her fingers through my unruly, overly frizzy mop of hair which did no credit to her previous good work. We settled on a darker brown than I had used at home, one that is closer to my natural fairly dark brown. She suggested throwing in a few highlights. (In my mind, the cash register went Ka-ching!) I remembered how much I had liked the haircut and said yes.

While she left me to “process,” I read an article in Vanity Fair about Camilla Parker Bowles. I hope I am nicer-looking than she is. Also nicer.

Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sunshine in…

After the “processing” and the shampoo, I moved to a chair on the other side of the room, near a window. This is when I realized that her hair was a combination of red and blonde that looked almost pink in sections. I began to wonder what my hair was going to look like when it dried.

She put a few more layers in this time. It’s okay, I guess. It’s still long in the back, which pleases Pure Luck, but it means no more French Braids or secure ponytails. For most of the blow-dry I was turned a bit away from the mirror, so it was a bit of a shock when she turned me toward it and I saw that my bangs were blown so large they looked like I had rolled then on cans.

“How do you like it?” she asked with a smile.


“I really like the color!! I like the highlights, too, they’re so cute!”

Another pause.

“But I think maybe the bangs are a little too big for me.” I could imagine people unable to focus on my sermon due to the fascination of the bangs. I thought of a woman we know who carries a Bichon Frise in her pocketbook and drives a Mercedes; her bangs are that big. I’m not rich enough to wear bangs that big and round.

She fixed the bangs.

Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the mind’s true liberation

I have sort of big hair. It was always pretty straight until about five years ago, and then it seemed to develop a life of its own. It makes me wonder why I spent all that money on perms and things of that nature.

The style these days is to blow the hell out of all that big hair, after first taming it with “product.” (At least that seems to be the style in City By the Sea. Those of you living in more sophisticated urban centers may know differently.) Other than the Coke can bangs, my hair was astonishingly flat.

The first person to mention this was #2 Son when he arrived at church to help at the Roast Beef Supper. I was up in my little garret office, and he came looking for me.

“Your hair. It’s different.”

“Yes, I know. She put highlights in it.”

“No, it’s flat. It’s really, really flat.”

I’m glad he told me, because you see I had no idea! (*&^$in’ flat hair.)

“Don’t worry. I won’t be able to copy this.”

How can people be so heartless
How can people be so cruel
Easy To Be Hard; Easy to be cold

At the Roast Beef Supper, I discovered that young girls find my new hair situation fascinating, while most other people look perplexed, except for women in my age bracket who praised it like they should.

Pure Luck comes over at the end of the supper to mop the floors. He came up behind me and said, “You look different.”

I turned around and looked up at him. (He is, after all, eleven feet tall.)

“Is it bad?”

“It’s just…different.”

Then I turned again and saw her. The Princess was coming the length of the church hall, and as she came closer her smile grew wider and brighter. Finally she was bouncing up and down with glee.

“Mom, you look awesome!!”

When the moon is in the Seventh House
and Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars.

12 thoughts on “Hair”

  1. I love the song lyrics folded in!
    I need the dawning of the age of aquarius on my own head. OEH, who is usually smart enough to keep his mouth shut about such things just said to me today (at a rather inopportune time, if I must say)”Boy, you’re really getting gray.”
    Um, thanks.

  2. Oh, I love the Princess’s comment. That’s awesome. I know how you feel about the big hair. Mine gets huge and it seems like every stylist wants to make it huger.

  3. Would love to see the new do!
    I too had my hair done this week with hightlights…
    I color mine at home, then go get the highlights done to save a little on money.
    I know about the flat hair too. Wonder why it’s in style? I like mine a little poofier, but not big bang like you mentioned.
    Ok, can we get a little peak at the hair??/ Maybe the top of the head?

  4. Seems many of us did the colour/cut/highlights thing this week.
    Pillar learned a long time ago not to comment on the hair. He can’t win. If he likes it, I assume he didn’t like it before…so now he says, “Love the hair” before he’s even seen it. I come in the back door, and he’s shouting it down the hallway….”Looks great!” A wise man, my husband.

  5. Box of colourant waiting on the dressing table…am hoping DarlingDaughter will consent to assist me tomorrow evening, which is when I’m next at home. Fringe beginning to resemble a Shetland pony, but kind hairdresser who understands is off sick, post-op, till after Christmas and I daren’t risk elsewhere…
    Thank the Lord for the Princess…bless her heart. Hug her for me x

  6. Fringe beginning to resemble a Shetland pony
    Kathryn, that is too cute. I hope DD rises to the occasion!
    Sue, for all his sensitivity on certain matters, Pure Luck just hasn’t figured out the hair thing. Maybe when we’ve been married a little longer.
    cheesehead, those are “I’m sure you would enjoy sleeping on the couch tonight” words! (Not that it every ends up that way.)
    Cathy and Laura, I guess they feel it’s their job to make us Queen for the Day, but I’d just as soon not be. It’s enough for me to have someone else wash my hair.

  7. I was thinking about you lately. I have to say I love this post. Very well-written.
    Re: Hair….
    And isn’t a well-timed compliment just the very best!

  8. Wow, must be something in the air – I just put in henna in mine for the first time in AGES.
    And yours looks so great! And hurrah for a girl in the famliy to tell you so.
    (thanks for the reminder about Hair, too.

  9. Wonderful, especially about your daughter loving it. Isn’t it nice when SOMEONE does?
    My sweetie starts telling me about 2 weeks before haircut time, “I love your hair! It’s perfect! I hope you won’t get it cut! I hope you won’t do anything to your hair!”
    My darling hair person, who is called America, and I have a little conspiracy. She fixes it, on cut day, to look exactly like it did before (bangs blown out longer). For the last several cuts, he has not even realized it has happened.
    Does he get to pick what I do with my hair? NO. But if I can make me happy and him, too, then so much the better.
    Now I have to decide about these crazy gray hairs in the bangs. Are they snappy? Do I just look old and weird? If I keep pulling out the ones that go DOINK! the wrong direction, will 2 really grow back?

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