Discernment

Be Careful What You Ask For…

When Friday Mom asked in comments below how it felt to have grasped my recurring dream, I admitted that it was both exciting and scary. Then I typed, but deleted, the following question:

“Will I be able to let my Priestly Self (represented by Clergyman) have the keys and the driver’s seat?”

That night I had two new dreams.

1) Clergyman reappears, once again proposing that we go off together. This time I demur thinking of my husband, rather than his wife, which is an interesting shift in the theme. He is, however, irresistible. We get into some sort of big vehicle together, a dark SUV, I think (so tall it’s a stretch for me to get up and in) and take a dirt road out into the wild: woods, fields, countryside. Unlike the dreams in which I worry about Iconic Wife, there are no reassurances about my Spouse. Nevertheless I am wooed away, and he carries me off in his own powerful vehicle. He has a direction in mind, taking us away from the known and the predictable, off into new territory.

2) I am doing the Mom thing, picking up kids from afterschool activities. I see my friend Missionary Mom (a friend who is grappling with the balance between child-rearing and meaningful work), but leave her behind to do errands. I drive off in my station wagon, but the car stops running. I manage to pull it off the road into a parking lot and notice on the dashboard a light saying “Navigation Failure.” It turns out I’m in the lot of a garage; the mechanic tells me the car will not run again.

Friday Mom, any more good questions?

14 thoughts on “Be Careful What You Ask For…”

  1. My gosh, your dreams are dead on target, aren’t they?
    Why do I always dream that I’m still in college, and have just discovered that I’ve been registered for a math or science class all semester without ever going?
    Whatever it means, I’m not looking forward to the day I got my “navigation failure” dream about doing the mom thing…

  2. Typepad has been seizing up. It had my response up five times earlier, plus extra copies of yours, which I thought I deleted. I’m almost afraid to go back and find out they’re reproducing…

  3. Phantom, for me it’s usually a German or Italian class, two languages I only know to sing. I think it’s just undifferentiated anxiety. How helpful is that, Dream Maker?

  4. No, for me it’s a math class (funny b/c I’m a math major) and I’ve forgotten to go to class all year except for the FINAL EXAM.
    Almost too much like real life….
    I dream of the Clergyman, too. Red-headed, as well. Are we related?

  5. I’m way behind on blogs. Had to work an all-night shift Thursday and was completely worn out yesterday. Slept all afternoon and still went to bed at 9:30.
    Interesting dreams. What do you think they mean, Songbird?

  6. I think the second dream was a confirmation of my conclusion about the earlier dream: it’s time for Mom Self to stop driving the car of our lives, in the sense of making decisions or setting limits that are based on what’s good for everyone else. I have to say, that’s the advice some people have been giving me for a long time!! Real Life Clergyman said it eight or nine years ago. Heck, I went to a Tarot reader August a year ago and she said the same thing: follow your calling and don’t worry about the family. It’s going to be good for them, too.
    When I did the Search process in ’02, I didn’t even consider moving. I just hoped there would be a job close enough by that we wouldn’t have to confront a conflict between my call and the desires of others. I have a strong feeling that I cannot continue to do that, but I worry that it won’t sort itself out; I worry about it. And I know that’s about my fear of rejection by those closest to me, a cradle issue if there ever was one.
    The first dream, though, seems to be saying, “Go now! Get in the car and let the Priest drive!” And I think it’s also my unconscious coming up with a worry, just because it can.

  7. I’m not a dream analyst be any stretch…heck, I’m not an analyst by any stretch, so I wouldn’t hazard a guess at meaning. Given all that you’ve talked about regarding the other dream and the discernment you are doing, the word that came to mind reading about these two dreams was “resistance.” A natural response to a new insight, I think. There’s always a push to maintain the current equilibrium. Change upsets it, increases anxiety, and generally makes things difficult until we find the new equilibrium. I admire your efforts to keep pushing toward integration! It will create some anxiety for others, but that’s not a bad thing.

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