The Male Animal

Man Talk

It’s been all girls, all the time, around here, so for a change here are two conversations I had today, or rather one conversation and one IM exchange.

Early this morning–

Songbird: Pure Luck, would you drive #2 Son to the bus stop?

Pure Luck: The bus stop? Where is it?

Songbird: You drove him there yesterday. It’s at Renowned Middle School.

Pure Luck: Why didn’t you just ask me to drive him to school?

Songbird: Because he doesn’t go to school there anymore. That’s where the bus picks him up to go to Hippy-Dippy High School.

Pure Luck: Hmmph.

Songbird: And if I asked you to drive him to school, you would tell me that isn’t where he goes to school anymore, wouldn’t you?

Pure Luck: (walks away)

Songbird: (sighs)

Later, via IM–

#1 Son: This key ring you bought me is utterly confounding. How are keys supposed to go on it?

Songbird: Isn’t there a little opening in the ring thingie? And a hole somewhere in your key?

#1 Son: There’s… sort of an opening. But it takes so much force to actually open that I don’t have enough fingers left to operate putting a key on it.

Songbird: Use the key as a wedge.

Songbird: (You are so like my father it is making me laugh and weep simultaneously.)

#1 Son: Ain’t my fault this doesn’t work.

Songbird: Well, I’m sorry. It looked like an ordinary key ring to me.

Songbird: Go get another one.

#1 Son: Yar.

Songbird: Or a lanyard, for Pete’s sake.

#1 Son: Gragh.