Domestics

Housekeeping Horrors

As a housekeeper, I’m a very good pastor.

First of all, I don’t really have enough time to do an adequate job. We tend to scurry around, using a team approach, just before guests come over, or the family is expected for a holiday. For the last year or so I was in seminary and the first year I was working, we had a cleaning lady, but when I realized how much I was spending from the nest egg my parents left me, I let her go. And so for the past year, it’s all been on me, because truthfully, the kids and the husband only do so much. Pure Luck unloads the dishwasher every morning (this depends on my being conscious enough to turn it on the night before), and he keeps up the outside of the house and takes out the trash and manages the recycling. But I think I’ve seen him vacuum once, and that was in his office.

#2 Son is quite good at cleaning, but has to be pressed into service. And he’s busy as only an 8th grader can be, with afterschool commitments, homework and many hours a week of clarinet practice. And then there are friends.

The Little Princess–well, you’ve seen her nickname. Need I say more? She seems to believe that Mary Poppins will soon appear to “tidy up the nursery.”

#1 Son is home now. When I ask him for help he tends to do the least you have asked him for, then disappear to the third floor where he “can’t hear” me.

So it was with some pleasure that I noticed Sons 1 and 2 doing their own laundry this week. That is a big help!

Or so I thought, until I went down to the basement last night to put my fabulous undies into the delicate cycle and discovered, to my horror, cinnamon-flavored gum adhering to the inside of the washing machine!!! Aargh!!!! I scraped it off, painstakingly. Those boys both have braces; who would be carrying gum in a pocket? It was unchewed, I think, because a cellophane wrapper had, in part, survived the wash.

#2 Son pleads “not guilty;” the red gum was already on the machine when he did the last load prior to mine.

Grrr. College Boy is in trouble! Now if he will only wake up and let me get mad at him!

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